This is not a New Years Resolution post. I can’t really put myself into the right frame of mind to generate the energy or positivity to form resolutions. Just resolving to get up and undertake some regular tasks of daily living seem challenging enough lately.
A combination of the following factors has knocked my feet out from under me (in one case, literally):
- fatigue hitting me hard, late, after the radiation treatments
- a quad injury on November 10 that shows no sign of healing
- four days of solid nausea over the holidays, including two days of not holding water down, resulting from mistakenly eating two cookies made with egg
- conversations with Regis in which it became apparent that he’d misapprehended prognosis for Stage IV, Grade IV mRCC folks as a minimum of 5 years survival (rather than 5% chance of 5 year survival) and resulting WHACKS of reality checks.
Even before the four-day self-inflicted illness, there were days when I’d find myself overwhelmed and crying without any apparent stimuli.
Result: have decided to step back from some commitments that are likely beyond my current capacities. I’ve started trying with this light therapy panel. I got a cane. I may not be available or around as much (even to the limited extent that I was around and about), at least for a bit.
Don’t worry, I’m not vanished; just bringing my mojo into the shop.